Шутим на всех языках!! :)))


 An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."

 Why Italian Women Need Therapy

Phone Call:

Italian Mother: "Hello?"

Daughter: "Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?"

Italian Mother: "You're going out?"

Daughter: "Yes."

Italian Mother: "With whom?"

Daughter: "With a friend."

Italian Mother: "I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man."

Daughter: "MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!"

Italian Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies."

Daughter: "MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?"

Italian Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your father."

Daughter: "There are lots of things that you did and I don't."

Italian Mother: "What are you hinting at?"

Daughter: "Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight"

Italian Mother: "You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband s ay if he finds out?"

Daughter: "MA its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!"

Italian Mother: "So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?"

Daughter: "MOM, He's not a loser."

Italian Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite."

Daughter: "MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?"

Italian Mother: "Poor children with such a mother."

Daughter: "Such a what?"

Italian Mother: "With no stability. No wonder your husband left you."

Daughter: "ENOUGH MA!!!"

Italian Mother: "Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!"

Daughter: "Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?"

Italian Mother: "Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately."

Daughter: "Goodbye, mother."

Italian Mother: "Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?"

Daughter: "I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!"

Italian Mother: "If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?"

 To Сергей Станиславский
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking." LOL. That's awesome!!!!!

 Бородатейший датский анекдот:

"- Hvad er forskellen mellem en diplomat og en dame?
- Hvis en diplomat siger ja, mener han mеskem, siger han mеske mener han nej og siger han nej, er han ikke noen diplomat. Hvis en dame siger nej, mener hun mеske, siger hun mеske, mener hun ja, od siger hun ja, jasе er hun ikke noen dame!"

"-Есть разница между дамой и дипломатом?
- Если дипломат говорит "да", он подразумевает "возможно", если он говорит "возможно", он думает "нет", ну а если он говорит "нет", то он вообще не дипломат. Если же дама говорит "нет", она думает "возможно", говорит она "возможно", значит думает "да", ну а если говорит "да", то она вообще не дама!"


 to Сергей Станиславский: